DIONYSIA

Accompanying me were my daughter Rachel (15 going on 35) and son James (13, and rugby/football MAD!); it was their first convention.

Friday

Both star guests were at the reception with Steve Wilson the Druid plus Jo and Carly (the professional 'Zeena' and 'Callisto'). Alexandra is as about as tall as I'd expected, but very slim, especially in her arms and legs. I had only seen Musetta in 'Highlander' and 'Wild Wild West', so I couldn't make a similar assessment. She is slightly taller than Alex, but also very slender with exotic dark good looks. She'd make a great Cleopatra! I took the time to show Rachel the Holy Balustrade (the one which Kevin had grabbed and mimed knocking his head against the previous year whilst having his 'Aaaaaaaargh!! Celine Dion!!!' moment!). Alexandra shook my hand and we made introductions. She explained how she'd done her hair. I said that my hair was dead straight and wouldn't curl like hers, but she encouraged me to try. Maybe I will some day! James steadfastly refused to dance (sounds like someone else...!!) but spent a lot of his time helping the two lady D.J.'s sort their CD's and find the right tracks, which they seemed to appreciate.

Spot the difference!!

Saturday

Steve Wilson gave a fascinating talk on how the seven basic characters in fiction are based on the planets (and gods) associated with the seven days of the week (Sun, Moon, Tuesday/Mars, Wednesday/Mercury, Thursday/Jupiter, Friday/Venus and Saturn). In Britain we have a mixture of the older 'gods' mixed in with Viking ones. Tuesday is after Tiu or Tyr; Wednesday after Wotan, Thursday after Thor and Friday after Freya; but if you go to Latin countries you will often find variants of Mardi (Mars-day - Tuesday), Mercredi (Mercury's day - Wednesday), etc. As far as we can tell, the ancients knew only (or used only) the Sun, Moon and the five other nearest planets and used Deities associated with these in mystery religions for initiation. Below is a table of the days of the week and the god/goddess associated with the same, plus that deity's characteristics.

The seven characters associated with these turn up even in the present day fiction and television with incredible frequency and accuracy. I've put in just a few that 'work' - people have apparently done this successfully for soaps too!

As far as Star Trek goes, it gets even more interesting. Whether consciously or unconsciously, someone has drawn on the three of the major Greek myth stories. In TOS and TNG it's a 'retelling' of Jason and The Argonauts, DS9 is the seige of Troy and Voyager is the Odyssey. So, by a law of averages, the new Star Trek 'Enterprise' series should have elements of Perseus/Theseus/Orpheus, if they are going to cover the whole spectrum.

After this, Musetta gave her talk. She said quite a lot about her episode of Xena (not surprisingly), her childhood in South Africa, the working on 'Wild Wild West' (she played Munitia, the lady with the interesting cage in her boudoir!) and Highlander. She mentioned how she 'went for' her fights in Xena and how Lucy had to look up and say, 'I'm not really Xena, you know!'.

Is the water meant to turn pink?	Are you talking to me?!?
Really?!!? When? Where?!!?	And 'Wild Wild West' was great!

After lunch, Alexandra got on stage and immediately took her shoes off. She climbed and knelt on a chair for a while, while talking about her costume and how cold it was in Winter (I'll bet!). She also said how much fun (or possibly not) she and Renee had in the Brun-Hilde costume, in which they were firmly fastened and tied together and had to stay that way all day! She mimed and explained the difficulties of sitting down and using the ladies' room! When it came to entering the castle, their horns (on the hats) got locked, but they just about managed to keep straight faces so the scene could be shot in one take.

In the fancy dress there were:- Hermaphro-Dite (Jimmy in drag, complete with false boobs), Brun (or Hilde), Caesar, a Little Xena, and the three of us (Classic Xena, 'When in Rome' Xena and junior Ares). There was also a non-entrant Gabrielle, whose costume was painstakingly accurate. We were absolutely thrilled to get first prize, Caesar came second and Hermaphro-Dite got a bad taste prize (he...um...she...was rather daring to wear that little in public, especially over certain parts of the anatomy!).

Hermaphro-Dite
with his...um...her favourite tipple

Sunday

Steve gave a fascinating talk on how Star Wars was based on the Tarot. He gave us a history of the latter first, which I'll leave out for brevity, but if anyone really wants to know, get back to me! Another table...

Interestingly, Judgement in the Crowley Tarot was Eon, which also had a picture of a falcon on it.

Musetta talked again about Xena and how Adrian had played a 'prank' on her in Highlander (I knew it! He can't resist!). She also said how difficult it had been overdubbing an originally Russian accent with a standard English one when the director changed his/her mind on 'Secret Agent'. The lip-sinc wasn't right!

Musetta's husband Jeff Celetano talked about the troubles and trials (and delights) of being a movie/television director. He made the move because he was fed up with bad directors. He was one of the ones shortlisted for the Hercules role before Kevin got it (and even Kevin had to go away and do some major body-building!). He was asked why you can't just go and shoot a movie on the streets with unknowns and get it 'out'. He explained that the business is driven by what will make money and the star names. He mentioned 'Blair Witch' and how it was only one of a good number of similar films in the same genre and the makers had just got lucky (and not made a lot on the deal either).

I got myself roped in to do an 'audition' on stage with Alexandra as director! My Hercules was a nice man called Tony and Maggie's very good female Hercules had Jimmy (in partial drag and somewhat...relaxed). We did our best, Maggie deserved an Oscar for keeping in character opposite Jimmy with a wig on and I think a good time was had by all! We read the 'apple' scene between Hercules and Aphrodite from the episode of the same name.

You are the weakest fan...	Then you get him by the short and curlies... Zena (Jo) and Callisto (Carly)
Script causes actress to doubt sanity!

Monday

Steve gave a last talk on deities and mysteries, which was very entertaining. He started off with Eris (Discord) and how she is traditionally meant to be ugly. Steve made quite a bit of masculine appreciation of the T.V. version of Discord at this point! He went on to talk us through the original golden apple legend and how Aphrodite comes off as being somewhat vain! To cause a major war and kill umpteen hundred people just because you don't want to lose a beauty contest......?

I love Steve for this next affirmation - Ares did NOT cause wars, he was the God OF War, which is totally different! (See, I told you!). After a diversion into the new 'reality' Iron Age series (which isn't anything like Iron Age reality), Steve went on to try to answer the question as to whether Hercules really existed. His basic answer is 'probably'! According to archaelogists, the Mediterranean Sea broke into what is now the Black Sea around 5,000 B.C. Steve reckons our 'flood' stories probably stem from this cataclysmic event. It must have wiped out thousands AND substantially altered the coastline for navigation purposes. Hence Jason getting lost searching for the 'golden' fleece (good ones to be had in Colchis at the far end of the Black Sea, apparently), and Odysseus likewise trying to get home after the fall of Troy. Steve also thinks the 12 labours of Hercules probably have an astrological and spiritual basis (Bull, Lion, cleansing of stables = Aquarius), but exactly what it means is lost to us because no-one has been initiated into those mysteries for over 2,000 years!

Rachel and James took part in 'You are the Weakest Fan' - they got booted off fairly quickly because they either didn't know the answers or played for laughs! Maggie was the eventual winner, though I didn't see what her prize was. After thanks all round, the convention was over and we all went our seperate ways. As usual, it came too slowly and passed too fast! Somehow I can't see anyone holding a week-long one though!

Thanks to all the organisers, especially Jo. I'm looking forward to the next one!